Searching

The house seemed strangely empty.  My daughter, Lizzie, had gone to Manchester for a couple of weeks.  I had expected to enjoy the peace and quiet – just me and the dogs – but I missed her and the baby, and I felt lost and unsettled.  As I cooked my solitary omelette, I noticed two paper sheep, coloured in by my granddaughter at a family service.  They’d been hearing the Bible stories of ‘The Lost Sheep’ and ‘The Prodigal Son’.  I noticed them, possibly, because, that morning I had only just read the last verse of that great long Psalm 119.  It said, ‘ I have wandered away like a lost sheep – come and find me, for I have not forgotten your commands.’

I thought about my own five children, grown up now, all baptised and confirmed, but only one is still ‘in the fold’; two of them would say they believe and occasionally pray, and of the other two, one can’t be bothered, and the other, who used to be the most ‘spiritually aware’ of all my children, seems to have turned his back on God altogether.  Nevertheless, I see in him such an aching longing for meaning, for purpose, and understanding.  He’s searching for answers in science, physics, and philosophy.  He pushes himself to extremes, whether at work, or at leisure –skiing, surfing, the occasional parachute jump or flying lesson, scuba diving;

He called in here for a quick coffee at the weekend.  ‘How are you?  What’s new?’  I asked.  Well, the latest is that he’s planning a trip to the Philippines, diving on ship wrecks, and in an underground lake in a cave system.  They will enter via a borehole, crawl through narrow, wet tunnels, and dive into the lake.  The next cave system can only be reached by a narrow, underwater entrance, which emerges into a great cavernous, cathedral – like  space. To get out, they must turn around and go back the way they came.

At the risk of sounding a bit ‘kill-joy,’ I said ‘But WHY?  What on earth makes you want to do such dangerous things?’ “I suppose it’s like pushing the boundaries of my existence,” he replied.  “It’s as though I’m on the edge of something amazing, but it’s never quite amazing enough!”

How I long for him to find Jesus – or should I say, for Jesus to find HIM, and all those others like him? My prayer is; ‘Don’t wait too long, Lord – it’s a dangerous world out there; look at Amy Winehouse, and all those young people in that Norwegian Youth Camp!  Please keep our children in the palm of your hand.  Guide their steps; send angels to protect them, even though they don’t yet acknowledge you.  Turn them around to look into your face; awaken them to your infinite love.  Amen.

I love the way scripture puts into words exactly what’s in your heart.  How about this?  ‘O Lord, you have searched me and you know me…. You are familiar with all my ways… Where can I go from your Spirit? Where can I flee from your presence? If I go up to the heavens you are there; if I make my bed in the depths, you are there.  If I rise on the wings of the dawn – if I settle on the far side of the sea, even there your hand will guide me, your right hand will hold me fast.’ (Excerpts from Psalm 139 vs 1 – 10

If we don’t teach our families about God, who on earth will? “We will not hide these truths from our children, but will tell the next generation about the glorious deeds of the Lord…his laws and decrees, so they might know them – even the children not yet born, that they, in turn, might teach their children, so each generation can set its’ hope anew on God.”

(Excerpts from Psalm 78 v 4 – 7)

Crowns

I wonder if you watched the final of ‘The Apprentice’ on Sunday evening?  The result was quite a surprise, wasn’t it?  For weeks we have watched as a group of clever, ambitious, self-motivated young people clawed their way to the final prize of setting up in business with Lord Sugar.  Bright, rising stars in the world of commerce, they were all willing to step on the fingers of their companions in order to climb to the top of the ladder.
Tom didn’t look like a winner.  He didn’t seem ‘hard’ enough.  He was agreeable and polite.  He didn’t shine by winning every task, as some did; in fact, he lost most of them.  He was dyslexic, and, maybe, a bit goofy; but he was also inventive, dedicated, interested, willing to learn, to change, to adapt, and it was his pleasant manner and his vulnerability which made Lord Sugar say ‘You need me and what I have to offer, and I can certainly use what you are bringing to the table; YOU’RE HIRED!’ Thus, Tom was crowned the new ‘Apprentice’
It made me think of Jesus’ words about the Kingdom ‘Many who seem to be important now will be the least important then, and those who are considered least here, will be the greatest then.’(Mat. 19 vs 30)
Earlier that day I went along to the big, all-age family service in Upchurch Village Hall. It’s a joyful, informal gathering, and on this occasion it was a Family Communion.  A semi-circle of kneelers had been laid down around the altar table, and the children were invited to come first to receive the bread.  They came running, happy, smiling, and knelt, eyes closed, hands held out.  The Priest knelt on the hard floor to give them the torn bread, as some of them were so small.  As he approached, a little girl in a princess costume, took off her sparkling tiara and placed it onto the head of her friend.  They giggled and ate the bread, then she ran to her father and carefully put the crown on his head.  He received it with a good grace and wore it for the rest of the service;
But as I watched the people come and kneel, it was as though Jesus was the Priest, kneeling before each person to be at their level – looking into their eyes, knowing them, feeding their souls with life-giving bread, and gently speaking their name saying ‘This is my body, given for you’. No wonder that little princess felt the need to take off her crown.
The Book of Revelation, chapter 4, verse 10 describes a vision of Heaven.. ‘The twenty four elders fall down and worship the One who lives forever and ever, and they lay down their crowns before the throne and say “You are worthy, O Lord our God to receive glory and honour and power.  For you created everything and it is for your pleasure that they exist and are created.”’
I’ll remember those children – their gladness of heart, their willingness to bend the knee, to reach out and receive, and to lay their crowns aside, and I’ll pray for God to help me be more like that.  The following verse from Charles Wesley’s hymn ‘Love Divine’ always gives me goose bumps!
‘Changed from glory into glory
Till in heaven we take our place,
Till we cast our crowns before thee,
Lost in wonder, love, and praise.’

Jane Gransden